Balancing Act

Walking down a faintly reminiscent street and catching a glimpse of some version of yourself that you left on the odd doorstep, long ago -- when the wheels were spinning out of control and you had to jettison any unnecessary weight... heaving boxes of memories off the back of the truck, getting one last look at a stolen moment with a girl you'd never love again, her smile captured so distinctly by the Polaroid.

Get to know that sadness, make peace with it, invite it in and give it a good place to stay cause it will be staying for a while.

Gritting your teeth at the thought of something valuable, lost somewhere in all that wild spinning. Living in a time of acknowledged depravity. Knowing all along that too little was really happening to improve the matter. A lost sense of infinity. With nothing to grab hold of on your way down. Some of the patented game-play at hand... greasing the machinery... just part of the show they keep holding over at the Theater of Cruelty, having quite the run -- the old-timers can be overheard on their park benches arguing about the actual date of opening night... that initial drawing of the curtain that drew us all in.

Gone to the dogs. Taken to street level. Bringing into focus those faces that lurk in the alley... shadowed... kept safe for an unmeasurable time.

Gothic nihilists are force-feeding their truth. Staying a safe distance from any of them proper definitions.

Conscientious Objectors, turning over new leafs. Just when autumn is about to make its subtle exit. Not really the spotlight season this year.

And tell your sister that I remember her well. I always had a soft spot for her. Slow dancing along the edge of our future. Believing for a moment that we could have loved each other if we just weren't so young and stupid.

Is there any unit of measurement that will do this justice? How much given... how much received, felt, forgotten?...

Making obvious connections. And taking more than a few things for granted. How come nobody ever took the time to get to know all the things we could never know?


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